Excerpt from "Just Because My Husband's A Woman..."
FORWARD OR SOMETHING
“You should write a book,” people say. Well, my spouse wrote one (we’re still working on that word. Not “book,” “spouse.” What do I call ... Scottie?).
For over 20 years, we were together as husband and wife. We celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary on April 29, 2017.
But the thing is, Scottie is not my husband. I guess.
Perhaps you’ve surmised by now, Scottie is a woman; not the man I thought I fell in love with and married those many years ago. She wrote a book about her life’s journey—flashing back on childhood experiences, talking about the pain of having to conceal who she really was and, finally, her coming out. Her book is called, “Getting Back To Me” from girl to boy to woman in just 50 years.
Honestly, this revelation devastated me when she came out to me. Any carpet I had stood on was pulled right out from under me. I was lost. I felt alone; abandoned. Something inside me died. Or so it felt at the time.
So, maybe it is time for me to tell my story—offer my side of the equation. I’m sure I’m not the first spouse of a transgender person to write a book. But I think I have insights, experiences, lessons to offer, because I had quite the arc to traverse, to where I ended up. Never fear; the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train.
Here’s just one example of where my journey began regarding the subject of transgender. I was watching an Oprah show one day. Oprah interviewed a couple where the husband had transitioned and was living as the woman she always felt herself to be. They had kids and they were staying together. They said they were happy and that keeping the family together was of greatest importance. I just didn’t get it.
I literally looked at the TV and said out loud, “Well! At least I’ll never have to deal with that!” Oh, really?!
I never would have guessed that that would be exactly what I would have to deal with.
So, I will be honest with you about it all; about me. Who I was, what it took, and who I became.
f this book offers any reassurance, inspiration, or helps expand someone’s understanding of what it is to be transgender and to be their spouse, I will have accomplished my goal.
At least you can learn the importance of never saying “never!”
Oh! And having a sense of humor also helps.